The Lovestruck Diaries

There’s something magical about the way a romance novel can heal you when you didn’t even know you were broken. I didn’t realize it the first time I picked one up. I was 31 when I discovered my first romance novel, “Misadventures with a Book Boyfriend” by Victoria Blue. I hate to admit that I did not think I’d enjoy romance, I was a queer woman who hadn’t seen many queer romances advertised. But I read this MF book nevertheless, and I LOVED IT.

Romance lets us feel without fear. It gives us permission to cry, hope, ache, and believe again, all while tucked safely inside the pages of someone else’s story. We get to witness heartbreak and healing, vulnerability and strength, and in doing so, we begin to reconnect with our own emotions.

Sometimes, when it’s too hard to face our own pain directly, we find comfort in seeing it mirrored through fictional characters. Their courage gives us courage. Their healing shows us that maybe we can heal too.

I usually find something to identify with in every FMC and it always cracks me open a little bit. I see myself… my desires, my fears, my softness… reflected in a story where someone like me is loved, wanted, and chosen. Representation matters so deeply because it reminds us that we all deserve love stories.

Whether it’s a curvy heroine, a trainwreck FMC, a trauma survivor, or a woman who’s learning to love again after loss…every story becomes a reminder for myself: you are worthy too.

Romance novels are more than just swoon-worthy moments; they’re often blueprints for things we need in relationships even if we don’t know it yet. The best ones show communication, consent, emotional growth, and boundaries, all the things I and many others sometimes struggle with in real life.

Watching a heroine set a boundary, speak her truth, or walk away from someone who doesn’t value her is empowering. It reminds us that love isn’t about losing ourselves. It’s about being seen… fully, wholly, and still being loved.

There’s this quiet rebellion in romance books that’s often overlooked… the act of choosing yourself. So many stories start with a woman who’s been dimming her light or settling for less. And by the end, she’s learned to love herself enough to demand more. (Often her partner helps her figure this out. Why isn’t this being talked about more?)

That’s self-love in motion. That’s the reminder we all need: that we don’t need to be rescued (while that can be fun!). We just need to remember our worth.

If you want to make your romance reading part of your self-love journey, here are a few ideas to try:

• Journal your favorite quotes that speak to healing, confidence, or growth.
  
• Notice what moves you. When a character chooses herself, pay attention to how that feels in your heart.
  
• Curate a “Self-Love Shelf.” Fill it with stories that make you feel seen, inspired, or strong.
  
• Reflect after reading: What did this story teach me about love and how can I apply it to myself?
  

Romance books remind us that love is messy and complicated, but still worth it. They remind us that healing is possible, even after heartbreak. And most importantly, they teach us that the love we crave from others often starts with the love we give ourselves.

So the next time you curl up with a romance novel, know this: you’re not just reading a love story… you’re beginning to write your own.

You are your own heroine.

You are your own happy ending.

What romance book helped you love yourself a little more? I’d love to hear about it in the comments, or come chat about it in The Radiance Room, my cozy Facebook community for self-love and beauty.

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